Gaming Finger Cots: The Accessory I Never Imagined We’d Need
At some point, you'd think we'd run out of things to sell...
I try very hard not to be the guy who is always saying, “Back in my day...”
Every generation does it. Our parents thought we had it easy. Their parents thought they had it easy. Someday today’s kids will be rolling their eyes at whatever impossible luxury the next generation invents.
So I make a conscious effort to avoid that trap. In fact, for a writer, its almost a disqualifying trite meme.
-However-
I just stumbled across an Amazon listing for finger cots marketed specifically for mobile gamers.
Finger cots.
Not for handling chemicals.
Not for working in electronics.
Not for protecting a bandaged finger.
They’re tiny sleeves you wear on your fingertips so they glide across your phone screen while you’re playing games. Apparently sweaty thumbs have become a tactical disadvantage.
I just sat there staring at the screen.
Really?
Now, before anyone writes in, yes, I understand the technology. Capacitive touchscreens work better when your finger glides smoothly. Competitive mobile gamers want every possible advantage. Somewhere there’s probably a big-money tournament where milliseconds matter.
I get it.
But I still can’t believe we’re here.
The Obligatory ‘Back in my day…’ Stories
My generation wasn’t exactly raised in a sterile laboratory.
We rode in the rear window shelf of our parents cars because seat belts were only considered mild suggestions.
We launched steel-tipped lawn darts toward each other with a confidence that can only be described as reckless. Yeah, some of the accidents were spectacular.
If there was a water hose near the neighborhood Wiffle Ball field, everybody drank from it. Nobody asked where it came from. Nobody wondered if the neighbor had rinsed paint brushes with it ten minutes earlier. In fact, he probably had.
If your bike had working brakes, you were ahead of the game—not that it mattered when you landed badly off the makeshift jump ramp built from a filched piece of plywood and a cinderblock.
We came home when the streetlights came on, covered in dirt, mosquito bites and whatever mystery substances had accumulated during twelve hours of unsupervised adventure.
Again, I’m not claiming we were tougher.
Just...different.
Modern Problems
Every generation has its own version of hardship. Kids today deal with pressures we never imagined. Social media alone creates stresses we escaped entirely. I cannot imagine what younger people face today, completely smothered by a digital onslaught you can’t outrun.
But somewhere between legitimate technological progress and wrapping our fingertips in tiny gaming socks because Call of Duty Mobile is making our thumbs perspire...I feel like we’ve wandered into territory that deserves a raised eyebrow.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe these little finger sleeves are the greatest innovation since sliced bread.
Maybe next year they’ll come with cooling gel inserts and Bluetooth.
Maybe there will be premium versions stitched from organic alpaca wool harvested under a full moon.
I don’t know.
What I do know is this:
If you develop chapped fingertips from playing games on your phone, it might be time to put the phone down for a little while.
Go outside.
Find a Wiffle Ball.
Play in the creek.
Drink from a garden hose.
But...maybe check first to make sure it doesn’t smell like weed killer.
We’ve learned a few things since then.